After reading the recent update from the Future Facilities Task Force, and looking toward the upcoming Focus Group meetings, we were reminded of the “ancient Chinese curse” (although it is neither ancient, nor Chinese): May You Live in Interesting Times. It is a curse because “interesting times” is code for uncertain, even tumultuous times. The irony is that historically, uncertain and tumultuous times have often resulted in vastly improved conditions.

Does the prospect of meeting in person with other members of our community to discuss and discern plans for our building and how to fund those plans fill you with excitement, anxiety, or something else entirely? Take a minute and think about it; there is no wrong answer! What feelings surface for you?

The Tending Covenant Team identified a few “C’s” we may encounter as we work through this process:

Conversation 

Community

Connection

Control

Compromise

Conflict

Cooperation

Collaboration

Culture

Each of these C-words, in practice, can have a major effect on the outcome of our process. We can expect some conflict: we already know that the survey results showed a range of priorities and preferences. We will need to compromise to reach consensus. There may be moments of discomfort as thoughts and opinions surface that are different than our own. Discussions about money and funding for this project may spark feelings around control, scarcity, power imbalances, and fear. However, when we engage in conversation with a spirit of curiosity, we can collaborate and hopefully agree on great options that feed our culture of welcome, community, and connection. When we identify and acknowledge our tender spots, they need not derail us. As a community, we have moved through challenging and exciting times before.

The beauty of being in a covenantal community is that we have already agreed on how to be with each other! We do not have to fear conflict or disagreement, because we have a roadmap to ground and guide us. We have committed to each other:

We Cultivate trust with one another by celebrating differences, honoring boundaries, and offering compassion and care.

We Listen to each other deeply with curiosity and wonder.

We Speak for ourselves, without need to defend ourselves or persuade each other.

We Create safe and brave space for healthy conflict, creativity, and fun.

We Reconcile through forgiving and making amends when we hurt one another.

It is possible that even with the best of intentions to live in covenant, individuals may want support. The Tending Covenant Team will provide confidential coaching/support on appropriate ways to manage conflict to individuals who request it. We can be reached at TendingCovenantTeam@UUCleveland.org. More information about the team may be found on our page: https://uucleveland.org/meet-the-uucc-tending-covenant-team/

~ Meg Pauken, Laurie Albright, Mike Miller

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