Several people observed this Sunday how challenging it is to engage in open and curious listening as Parker Palmer suggests. And that’s precisely why we took some time in the container of a worship service to experience a little taste of it. Our covenant invites us to take on some challenging ways of being, and we don’t have a lot of other spaces in our lives that encourage us to develop deep intentional connection.
At the same time, every conversation doesn’t have to be hard work. Most of the time, we can experience connection with one another without struggling to frame genuine open and honest questions. We can share our ideas and perspectives and graciously receive other people’s ideas and perspectives by just showing up. Maybe it helps to have a breath or a moment of centering before a meeting, but it can be easy and chill to be authentically connected.
In those moments when we do wind up feeling defensive or we find ourselves wanting to debate or correct other people, we can use models like Parker Palmer’s to fall back on. We can recognize when we’re drifting a bit and say, “OK, I need to step back and create some kind of container for my anxiety, because I’m about to show up in a way I may regret later on.” Asking genuinely open and honest questions can be that kind of container. Some self-imposed guardrails when we most need them.
Even as I write this, I’m thinking of Central East Region Summer Institute (CERSI), where I’ll be serving for a third year on the Ministry Team next week. For those of you who haven’t experienced CERSI, it’s a week-long multigenerational UU camp with daily worship and a theme speaker and a whole array of workshops and small group experiences. It’s typically the first full week in July, beginning on Sunday and ending on Saturday.
For participants, that’s a full week of relaxing and connection and deepening UU identity. For someone on the Ministry Team, it’s a full week of work with no days off. I’m not complaining—just clarifying the responsibility for those of you who may not know. The Ministry Team is responsible for a variety of worship experiences throughout the week, and I get to collaborate with some amazing colleagues in some really creative ways. We’re also the community chaplains, with three 12-hour “on call” shifts throughout the week, should anyone need or want pastoral care. And, as it turns out, sometimes people seek us out even when it isn’t our specific shift.
I know every conversation as a chaplain on the Ministry Team matters. If I’m able to show up as I intend to, I do that thing Parker Palmer says about helping people connect to their inner wisdom in every conversation. Whether I’m technically on call or not. And that can be both exhausting and also deeply, deeply rewarding.
To be really transparent with you, it’s been hard to keep my sabbath in June. I think June was extraordinary in the timing of various ministerial demands and opportunities, and at the same time, I’m taking some intentional steps to preserve the time I need to rest and replenish so I can reliably show up as I intend to. Seven straight days of CERSI is a bit of a sticky wicket in that regard. No space for personal sabbath in that.
So, I’ll be taking a few days beforehand to give myself the best chance of entering next week with a full tank. (Or able to serve from the saucer and not the cup, if that metaphor resonates with you.) That this happens to coincide with a national holiday makes it even easier.
I’ll be offline for congregational purposes July 2–4, and then available a little less than usual by phone, text, and email through July 11.
I hope you create abundant space for deep connection, and that it feels effortless to do so. And when it feels like it takes some effort, I hope you confidently invite a sense of curiosity that helps keep you rooted in your values and listening from your own inner wisdom.