Embracing the possibility that we can shift out of autopilot and choose new pathways is a powerful thing in and of itself. We might wonder, though: If we aren’t our autopilot, well-rehearsed routines, who are we? Our Unitarian Universalist theology affirms that every one of us is worthy and sacred without having to perform or live up to certain standards or obey specific rules. But how does a worthy, sacred being behave in the world? Who are we becoming if we veer off the rails of “predestined” habits and make different choices?

This is why we clarify covenants and specific values. It isn’t that we have to color within those lines in order to remain worthy or acceptable. It’s a way of moving past the question of worthiness and into the realm of who and what we are becoming. Because we don’t have to worry about being acceptable or worthy or lovable or enough, we can focus on a different quality of questions altogether. We can relax our defensive habits and invite new ways of inhabiting our role in an interdependent web of existence. 

In our personal spiritual practices and when we are gathered together, the values we claim (or the principles we affirm, if you prefer that language) can refine our sense of how we move once we’ve determined that we can shift out of autopilot. 

Maybe we have a vision of what Liberating Love looks like in our relationships and in the world around us. So, in our times of reflection, we can clarify a few specific ways to more fully embody that vision. And even as we do so, we might identify some internal resistance, and we can begin exploring with our Inner Wisdom what that resistance is all about. Chances are, we’ll always carry around some old labels or fears about ourselves and other people. Confronting those patterns and choosing to live more fully into our values is one way we address some of those old wounds and assumptions.

Maybe Liberating Love is too big to imagine. So, we have other, more specific values and covenants we can turn to. What does it mean for me to live with integrity to the value generosity, for instance? The wording that we use now suggests that generosity means “cultivating a spirit of gratitude and hope.” It also means “we freely and compassionately share our faith, presence, and resources, [because] our generosity connects us to one another in relationships of interdependence and mutuality.” 

Cultivating a spirit of gratitude and hope to the extent that I can freely and compassionately share what I have may mean completely redefining how I think about ownership. The larger culture encourages us to accumulate and hoard and consume with abandon. Our faith encourages us to share with abandon and to honor the reality of our interdependence. Cultivating that shift in perspective could take quite a bit of dedicated inner work, plus maybe some incremental behavior shifts that let my body viscerally experience that it’s safe to share what I have.

And all of our values are like this. We don’t have to start with generosity. And also, anything we start with will automatically touch on our sense of generosity. We could begin instead with contemplating what it means to truly embody justice, equity, and compassion in human relations. That’s a lot more ambitious (and nebulous) than the current wording we’ve embraced, but it’s also still a part of how some of us define our religious tradition. That commitment to justice, equity, and compassion is inconsistent with a lot of the autopilot ways I want to protect myself. Or the ways I’ve learned to try to earn, prove, and defend my worthiness. I have to shift out of autopilot and practice entirely different ways of relating in order to live with integrity to that commitment.

So, our values and our covenants are maps of new terrain. Or at least signposts to new pathways. We learn those new paths over time through consistent practice. And our spiritual practices equip us to set aside our autopilot ways of being and more intentionally live into the things we say matter to us. This, in my opinion, is what it means to be fully alive.  What’s your next step off the rails?