We may find it necessary to change some of our beliefs. Or allow multiple beliefs to evolve. Maybe there are some beliefs we decide to discard altogether. When you imagine a future ten years from now in which you (or the congregation) are doing something meaningful to meet the needs of the larger community, what counterarguments do you find yourself making in your mind? Do you believe that you’re unable to make a difference? Or that it isn’t your responsibility? Do you believe that you’ll have to give up something important to live into this possible future? Do you uncover some beliefs about who our space (or our religion) really belongs to?

Changing a belief sometimes feels like it happens in a moment. Maybe you can remember a time when you believed one thing and then suddenly said, “Wait a minute… That can’t be true!” Sometimes our beliefs can change without us really wanting them to. It isn’t always easy when our beliefs change. Some of us have lost a sense of belonging when some of our beliefs changed. 

And yet, when we realize that we’re holding onto beliefs that no longer serve us, intentionally questioning our beliefs can be liberating. We hear our beliefs in the things we say with deep confidence. We read our beliefs in the texts and emails we send. Maybe we recognize our beliefs in the things we think about other people or ourselves. If we are willing, we can courageously hold up our beliefs and examine them, and we can decide whether they still make sense to us. In our spiritual practices, whether we’re alone with our inner wisdom or with a group of trusted others, we can consider what beliefs have become obstacles to fully embodying our values.

Here are a few beliefs I’ve heard or said in the past few days:

I’m too old to change that about myself.

That person doesn’t care about me. I don’t matter to them.

So-and-so is going to be angry if I tell them the truth.

I have to take responsibility for everyone.

God’s going to punish them. 

I can’t be myself and also get what I need from other people.

My contribution is too insignificant to matter.

Those statements seem worth examining. Some of them seem like things that could get in the way of being fully alive. Or co-creating a future that reflects the things we say we value. In a spiritual community where we practice compassionate accountability, one of the greatest gifts we can offer one another is to pause and ask, “Is that really so?” When we hear one another speak limiting beliefs—or outright lies—about ourselves, it’s a loving thing to stop and wonder, “Do you really believe that?” And in this way we invite our minds to be renewed, refocused, and reoriented toward our deeper values. 

Even if you don’t want to be vulnerable with another human being just yet, consider going back over recent conversations and being curious about what beliefs you expressed without even realizing it. You may find some things that you’d like to reconsider. You may discover something profoundly inspiring. You might gain clarity about the beliefs that most fundamentally empower you to live with more consistent integrity to your life-affirming values—to show up as the person you most want to be.