A lot of conversation after Sunday’s service centered on the idea of personal calling. It can be a tricky thing to discern. Even if we define a calling as “coming as close as possible to embodying one’s deepest values,” some people find it challenging to feel or talk about a sense of calling.

I wonder if part of that is because of the way we identify values. Some human beings might name personal values that are more intended to protect ourselves than they are to co-create wholeness and well-being in the world. We might think of something as a value because it helps us feel safe. 

If a person says they value frugality, what’s underneath that may be that they fear not having enough. If a person says they value like-minded community, that preference may reflect some anxiety about being vulnerable with people who have different perspectives. If a person says they value civility, surface level politeness may feel safer than the messiness of addressing injustices in our systems.

How do we know the difference? How can we discern values that are worthy of defining a personal sense of calling? And how do we set those apart from behaviors and preferences we’ve embraced out of a need to feel safe? 

I’m not suggesting we abandon a need to feel safe. That’s a really basic human need. And I really do believe that part of being a healthy spiritual community means that we provide a safe (enough) space to do meaningful, challenging spiritual work. But a calling—especially if one believes that a calling comes from a divine source? A calling is anything but safe. 

A sense of calling frequently invites us out of comfort and into a place of vulnerability. A sense of calling frequently asks us to set aside certainty and embrace that we cannot know the outcome of our purposeful, integrity-fueled actions. A sense of calling is a reason to take risks.

So, how do we discern our deepest, call-inspiring, purpose-infused, life-affirming values? For me the answer centers on connection. Which of my values lead toward meaningful authentic connection, and which of my habits and behaviors stem from a sense of disconnection?

When I’m feeling unsafe, I want to create distance. I want to put up barriers. I want to protect myself. Maybe when I’m feeling unsafe, I want to get really busy fixing things and controlling my environment and the people in it. My tendencies when I’m feeling unsafe are the things that keep me from living into a true sense of calling.

When I recognize that I am safe, I can more fully embrace the possibilities of connection. I become more curious, more compassionate, and more creative. I can courageously live into a sense of hopeful potential for myself and the world around me. This draws closer to what I would define as fulfilling a calling. 

When I act out of fear for what will happen to me or the world or other people, whatever I’m doing is probably not sustainable. When I act out of a sense of vision and hope and possibility, I stand a better chance of fulfilling a deep sense of calling. At least in that moment. 

That’s a framework that makes sense to me, at least. What is your sense of calling? And where can you distinguish more between living fully into that calling and playing small or staying safe? What can we do as a community to be a place where people engage in a deeply sustainable sense of bold vision?

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