Last week, I shared with you about a scam involving some mysterious packages arriving at the church. If you want to read that story before continuing, you can find it here: Mystery Package, Part 1
I’ve been contemplating how our Unitarian Universalist values guide me in this whole experience. You may have your own thoughts about that, but here’s what I’ve been considering.
Is this a matter of justice? The behavior of the person conducting the scam doesn’t seem to be connected to systemic oppression, but I don’t know much about the scope of things or the identity of the individual. I can say that a diverse multicultural Beloved Community here all thrive doesn’t seem compatible with a person taking advantage of others and making insincere promises with intent to deceive. So, the behavior seems worth opposing (to the limited extent that I can) from the perspective of a vision for a just world.
What about our value of interdependence? This value makes it difficult for me to just ignore the behavior. If we honor and interdependent web of all existence, we understand at some level that one person’s behavior affects everything. And our covenantal promise connected to interdependence is to protect Earth and all beings from exploitation. I can’t do a lot to protect anyone from a package tracking scam, but I can recognize that the behavior doesn’t support sustainable relationships of mutuality.
At first glance, it doesn’t seem like this is an issue of equity. Then I reconsider that in defining this value we declare that every person is inherently worthy and has the right to flourish with dignity, love, and compassion. Hm. Every person. Victim of a scam and perpetrator of a scam.
Flourishing in its deepest sense doesn’t seem possible when one is deceiving other people with an elaborate scheme. And yet, my declaration is that every person is inherently worthy of dignity, love, and compassion. Can I be compassionate and loving even as I oppose someone’s behavior? If I take these values seriously, that seems like a necessary aspiration.
So, carrying that awareness into pluralism, I have to admit that I know almost nothing about whoever is on the other end of this behavior. I affirm through this value that they are a sacred being, regardless of their behavior. I don’t know their culture, experience, or theology. Which is to say, I don’t know what kind of life narrative led them to perpetrate a scam. I can only invent stories in my imagination.
Can I exercise generosity in light of these other values? Can I cultivate a spirit of gratitude and hope? The simple answer is yes, if I choose to. The more I reflect on this question, the more nuanced the layers become. And at a sort of meta-level of awareness, I appreciate how these values are intertwined and dependent upon one another.
The sixth value in our array is transformation. I could have considered them in a different order, but this value states that we adapt to the changing world. So, I don’t insist on how the world (or any of the people in it) must be. I take responsibility for my own behavior in relationship to the world around me. This value is about my own openness to grow, not about how anyone else should or must transform into what I want.
So, the boundary I can set (and that we as an institution can set) is to refuse to participate in the package scam. And I can extend compassion for the people harmed by this behavior, including the person or persons perpetrating the scam. I have no opportunity to touch their lives or influence them in a meaningful way, but I don’t have to harbor ill will or judgment or resentment toward them. This might take some practice. It might be a spiral journey or an ongoing dialog within myself.
All of these values, for us as Unitarian Universalists, are envisioned as outstretched arms around liberating love. At first glance, it may seem like I don’t have the ability to liberate anyone in this situation. A cynical part of me says that I can liberate our community from receiving bogus packages. But more honestly, and perhaps a bit vulnerably, I have to admit that the person liberated by this spiritual practice is me.
I become liberated from holding onto judgment about a person I know almost nothing about. I become liberated from resentment toward them, and also from the arrogance that might otherwise allow me to hold myself as better than them. I become liberated for greater integrity with a commitment to be curious and compassionate. Plus, I affirm the loving boundary of refusing to participate in harmful behavior, even as I acknowledge the inherent worthiness of every sacred being. It is incomplete liberation. But it orients me in a direction that aligns with my life affirming values.