A few people have poked a little fun at me for being fascinated by families of deer casually wandering through the neighborhood.

Those deer are a menace. They’ll eat your entire garden if you’re not careful!

Or, even more ominous: Deer are dangerous! They’ll jump out in front of you and total your car!

I might start to think that everyone around here sees deer as a problem, except that some neighbors express sheer delight in having deer wandering around.

Maybe it goes back to an old, old saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Whether something is a menace or a delight might be more about our personal lenses. But we usually don’t phrase it that way. 

We say, “That thing is…ugly. beautiful. a menace. delightful.” 

We express opinions as facts, in other words. Maybe it’s a sort of shortcut. Maybe it seems like too much work to say, “I think that thing is…” 

Or maybe it feels safer for us to create a little distance and just make an authoritative statement about something external to us. It’s safe to talk about a deer. Or a piece of music. Or a politician. It’s more vulnerable to talk about our personal assessments, judgments, and opinions. 

But isn’t that really what we’re doing? A lot of times, when we make a qualitative declaration about a thing, we’re speaking about our own opinions and judgments. Why not own them?

Maybe it seems like a small thing to quibble over. Maybe there’s really no distinction between Deer aredangerous and I believe deer are dangerous. And yet, for some of us it feels threatening to own our perspective on something, whether it’s deer or something of greater consequence. 

Could there be some value in listening to your own words and clarifying your role as judge or observer? Are you willing to try it on for a bit?

It might even lead to our being able to discern the difference between “We should…” and “I want…”

Or maybe that’s what we’re afraid of.