We used to have an agreement in our household. If one partner cooks, the other cleans up. A “fair” arrangement, which worked fine when we prepared simple meals.

As I started to experiment with more complicated recipes, though, the kitchen got kind of messy. I also add to the mess because I like to gather ingredients in little ramekins before I start really cooking—especially if it’s my first time preparing a dish.

Yes, I know I’m not on a cooking show. It helps me keep things organized. It’s how I work best in the kitchen. But the partner responsible for cleaning up now has even more things to clean, in addition to the extravagant mess of a new recipe.

Dinner may be delicious, but did it really require all of this… stuff!? Yes. Yes it did.

So, we’ve revised our agreement. The person who makes a mess in the kitchen is responsible for cleaning it up. This is also “fair.” It may not be the version of fair I prefer, but it’s fair to say the one who makes a mess is responsible for cleaning it up.

Notice that our agreement is not that the other partner is forbidden from helping. The other person might still choose to clean up the mess. Or at least some of the mess.

When it isn’t an obligation or expectation, it’s a gift. We might express a little more gratitude when someone does something that really isn’t required of them.

It’s that way in covenantal community, too. We want to prepare some really wonderful dishes. We want to try out some amazingly adventurous recipes. Chances are, we’re going to make a bit of a mess in the process.

Sometimes we shy away from doing bold, adventurous things in service of our mission because we’re afraid that there will be a mess to clean up. We might step on someone’s toes. We might make a mistake. We might not get it right the very first time. Or the seventh time. Safer to just order pizza.

Except that “safer” doesn’t get us closer to our vision. If we want to create something amazing, we may have to embrace the reality that we’re going to make a mess of the kitchen.

Of course, sometimes we also expect that we can just ignore the mess. If we ignore it long enough, maybe someone else will come along and clean up after us. Or maybe no one else will notice. We think we can hide our messes. Like making a mess is something to be ashamed of.

Anyone who’s ever taken a chance in the kitchen knows that messes are just part of the deal. And anyone who’s ever been in authentic, meaningful community knows the same thing. Human beings make messes.

Rev. Randy Partain