Success

I spent a few days this week at a ministerial retreat where the theme was “Failure and Play.” One of many lessons that arose for me is that how I define success matters.

The benefit to being unclear about my definition of success is that I won’t feel like I’ve failed. If there’s no clear target, it’s tough to feel like I’ve missed the mark.

The challenge to being unclear about my definition of success, though, is that I won’t feel like I’ve succeeded. If there’s no clear target, it’s tough to know when I’ve hit it!

Our fear of failure might keep us from clearly defining our goals and purposes. We might have a vague sense of what we’re doing, but we won’t have the capacity to say no to things that don’t lead in a meaningful direction. We wander, perhaps with some hope that we’ll get someplace worthwhile if we just keep at it.

It boils down to boundaries. If I’m able to set a clear definition of what success means in anything that I’m doing, I create a boundary around what matters. Boundaries define what we create and what we allow.

If my definition of success is to fill a 48-hour retreat with every ounce of programming possible, I might be exhausted by the end of it, but I’ll know whether I succeeded or not based on how I defined success. If my definition of success is to connect deeply with colleagues, it matters less how much of my time is spent in programming. I’m choosing what matters by how I define success.

In our ministries, we probably face these kinds of decisions often. We have a set of principles or values that are intended to guide us. We have boundaries around our committees and ministry teams that clarify what we might focus on. And yet, we often define success by completely different parameters. That’s if we define success at all.

What if all of our ministry teams and committees began each gathering by clarifying how they each contribute to the mission and well-being of the congregation? What if that clarity guided what successful ministry means? Or what if all of our groups began each time together by clearly articulating their connection with our shared values? What if fidelity to Unitarian Universalist values provided clear boundaries for our journey forward together?

Where in your life are you reluctant to clearly define what matters most? What do you think might happen if you allowed yourself to set an authentic, meaningful definition of success that flows from your life affirming values? 

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