You can only fit so many letters on a candy heart. You have to keep messages simple. Messages like LUV YOU. Or BFF. Or my personal favorite from this picture: NO WAY

As Allan Georgia was talking humorously in Sunday’s service about the artificial inclusion (and potential colonialism) of passing out Valentine’s Day cards to an entire class, I was struck by the simplicity of the invitation: BE MINE.

I imagine such an invitation has to be simple if you want it fit on a candy heart. If we wanted to be less possessive, and still fit a message on a little candy heart, we could possibly affirm: I’m yours!  

This has the advantage of expressing a commitment, and we might be able to say this sincerely to an entire group of people (depending on the group). “I am actively committed to your well-being,” doesn’t have to be exclusive.

But sometimes we get into a pattern of leaving ourselves out of the equation. We commit ourselves to other people’s well-being and forget that we serve best from a full cup. Or better, we serve others best from the saucer—when our own cup is overflowing.

We need to receive love just as deeply as we need to express love. It’s important for us to have a commitment to self-care and tend to our own needs. But it’s also nourishing for us to know that we have people in our lives who are actively committed to our own well-being.

So, maybe the candy heart needs to say: We’re ours! Kind of a weird turn of phrase. But if you could fit more words on a candy heart, maybe we’d express: We belong to one another. There’s a mutuality there that seems a little better than one person possessing another. And it has a sense of being responsible to another person. Yet, belonging to somebody still seems like a strange entitlement. Even if it’s mutual, there’s something restrictive about it.

What about: We belong with one another? Does that capture it a little better? This imagined Valentine that expresses how we love one another in community?

Maybe we need a bigger candy heart. One that can fit all the words we need. All of us here are responsible for our part of creating whatever We can be, and I’m committed to creating the very best We possible.

That would be a really big piece of candy.

Or really tiny letters.

But maybe that’s what we mean in community when we say love.