On Sunday, we talked about a reflective life—deepening our sense of self-awareness by asking questions to which we don’t know the answers. In a way, it’s an opportunity to practice the promise to listen with curiosity and wonder, turned inward. 

Your “homework” was about how you can create space in your life for deeper self-awareness. But what does one ask of oneself to gain richer insight into one’s being? Although there’s no limit to possible questions, here are a few that might offer some meaningful reflection to guide our conversations in the months ahead: 

Are there moments in your life when you behave in ways that you later regret? 

Why do you do what you do? What is your behavior about? 

Are you resistant to the work of self-awareness? If so, why do you think that is?

Are there areas of your life where you are resigned and cynical of ever changing? Can you name at least one? 

When you get activated (stirred up, angry, agitated, scared, or upset) in life, can you identify why you are activated? Can you identify the real threat? 

Is there something that has been said about you or to you that you are afraid is true? Is there a story that you believe about yourself that might not really be true? This could be something like, “I’m lazy,” “I’m a burden,” “I’m not a leader,” “I’m not smart,” “I’m not important,” etc. 

What is currently robbing you of joy in your life? Can you identify one thing? 

Think of a current problem you are experiencing where you blame another person for that problem. Can you identify what your role is (active or passive) in keeping the problem in place? 

When you get anxious or upset, how do you typically behave? Do you fight? Do you emotionally shut down? Do you walk away or quit? Do you work harder? Do you become unable to act? Do you have to talk to someone about it? What does this behavior accomplish for you? 

Is there anything you are hiding from others right now? What are you hiding and why? 

Often the work of self-awareness takes time. Give yourself the time and the space to think deeply and to find answers. Self-discovery is a learned skill. It gets easier the more we practice it. And some of these questions might also be things we ask about our congregation in a compassionately curious way, or we might come up with different questions to build our collective awareness of who we are as a community.

If you don’t already have a small group of trusted people with whom you can share your insights, consider gathering a few people together for honest, vulnerable conversation about what you’re discovering. If you want this to be facilitated or guided by someone, please reach out and let me know. There are members of the congregation who are capable and experienced facilitators.

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