Belonging

For the month of September, our theme is Belonging. We’ll begin this theme with our Ingathering/Water Ceremony on September 11, followed by a Ministry Fair in the Fellowship Hall. At this year’s Water Ceremony, we’ll be asking, “What do I offer to the Congregation?” and also, “What do I need from the Congregation?”

I remember attending a welcoming gathering at a convention many years ago, hoping to find connection and belonging in an unfamiliar space. There were snacks and drinks and music, and groups of people were indeed connecting with one another. But I was there by myself, and I wasn’t feeling particularly outgoing.

For awhile, I stood in an out-of-the-way spot, imagining that I might unexpectedly see someone I knew. Or at least someone else who looked as detached as I was feeling. It was easy in that moment to blame other people for not inviting me into their conversations or welcoming me into their circles. But I also have to admit that I wasn’t doing my part to “belong.”

I’m not sure what it is that feels safe about being an outsider. It’s a basic human need to be known and to feel as though we belong. No person is an island unto themselves, as John Donne observed. And yet, there are times when it feels safest to remain on the fringes. To not risk rejection, maybe. To not be vulnerable.

Belonging, it turns out, isn’t a one-way gift that we receive when others offer it. Belonging is something that requires an investment of risk and vulnerability on our part. Maybe that seems unfair. Or maybe it makes sense that it’s hard to be accepted and celebrated by others if we do all that we can to remain invisible to them.      

With these questions of What do I bring? and What do I need? our Water Ceremony acknowledges that belonging moves in multiple directions. We find a sense of belonging when we are able to make a meaningful contribution. We also feel a sense of belonging when we know that we are cared for, empowered, and inspired by a community. It takes our willingness to give and receive with openness and trust to feel a full sense of belonging. And it also takes a community’s willingness to intentionally embrace and welcome everyone in the fullness of their being.

Which side of that belonging equation is most challenging for you? Do you struggle to notice and welcome and embrace people fully as they are? Or do you struggle to move from the fringes into a place of vulnerability where you can be seen and embraced and celebrated?

May we more intentionally invite one another into the rhythm of giving and receiving a sense of belonging as we begin a new season of community life together.